SINCERE TIPS FROM MOM IF YOU WANT TO DATE MY SON

This is not a warning.  It's not a prescription.  These are sincere thoughts from the heart of a mom who watched her boy become a man seemingly before her very eyes. This is the boy I nurtured to the man that you want to share memories with or even maybe someday make a life with. 

First of all, I don't make his dating rules.  While he has been working hard to get where he hopes to be in life, he's been watching and hearing what a gentleman entails and how to attract the woman for him.  The truth is that we may never meet you because he may decide not to bring you home to hang with his clan, but while you are saying yes to hanging out, going for coffee, sharing dinner, and cheering together at games, I sure hope you think of the man he is trying to be for you. 

It's not easy being a man in today's world.  Seems like that definition keeps changing.  It's not easy as a mom, either, watching the world condemn the nature of men, especially when we know we have raised good ones.  The toxic fallout has affected all men and breaks the heart of moms and wives.

I'm not trying to discourage you, but I  ask you to look hard at him before you say yes to dating him.  In case you didn't know, there's a great deal of vulnerability for a man to risk the rejection of a "No." Saying "No" to him is certainly okay, but mean what you say and say what you mean. If he asked you out, he doesn't just want to be your friend. He doesn't need you to string him along to cradle his feelings. When he extends his hand, it's a vein away from his heart. 

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Naturally, he's going to wonder and adjust to what you need or want him to be. There's wisdom and truth in doing some of that. He knows he isn't one of those TV superheroes, but he may just secretly want to feel like you might depend on him to be yours. Let him be super for you sometimes.  Independence in women is a respectful goal, but no one can do everything all alone. Does your self-sufficiency clash with his need to be a champion and protector? Sometimes, he's going to want to be yours.  Here's the catch, I know.  He also wants it to be okay to fail sometimes while he's trying to wear his superhero cape.  Be gentle with his failure while he's trying his capes on for size. I can attest to the fact that he hasn't gotten everything right his whole life, but I'm guessing you haven't either.

You will see his swashbuckling bravado.  Yes, you will find these stubborn streak areas sooner or later. Those tough streams can be softened. Just don't be the reason he becomes tough. He appreciates being molded by a soft, sincere heart. Bravo to you as you figure this is the fastest route to figuring him out!

If he could do one thing, making you smile might be it. So, look for those simple things he's doing and acknowledge your appreciation for the effort he's making to see your smile. 

He doesn't need someone he has to perform for all the time.  The world keeps telling him he has to be somebody and performance is the game he is used to playing.  Be comfortable with him in his own skin.

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And while he may deny he needs this, flatter him sometimes.  He will pull out his charm and humor to sweeten up to you cause those are the tools he has in his toolbox.  Just remember, uhmmm, work at grabbing his heart, not only his chest, when you flatter him. 

You might not walk down the road with him that ends up with a ring that promises he will stand by your side for the rest of your life's journey, but these are a few insights from his mom if you are wanting to date my son.