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| PART II |
I would
suppose over the last year my mantra or
big pursuit has had to do with this verse:
The thief comes only to steal and
kill and destroy. I came that they may
have life and have it more abundantly (John 10:10)
If we were
meant to have life abundant then I
challenged God to show me how to pursue this life.
When my
heart exhaustion started sighing, “I don’t need this,” I thought there had to be something that I was missing.
Metaphorically,
my purse was a miniature life, and it surely appeared abundant. Like my life,
it was crammed full, compartmentalized, and organized to make the days easier. There were
days of triple bags: purse, work bag, gym bag.
Is
my purse a metaphor for my pursuit of God?
The clutter
I cling to in my purse every day resembles my life.
Lists:
My notepad actually reads to do now or later. These lists are the
immediate needs to meet the demands of my family, my home, my church, my job,
my activities versus those that could possibly wait. They are my desires versus my needs. Yet,
they are also my hope to accomplish versus the pipe dreams. They are the should
do and must do. They are the many expectations
that take precedence for the day placed my myself and many others.
Keys: I have a large set of keys on a
lanyard that my husband refuses to carry when he borrows my car keys. He will take off just the car key to use. My three work keys are color coded for ease
of use in dark corridors. They are the tool to unlock my house, my garage, my
car, my classroom, almost any door in the school, and my sister’s house. These are
the key to getting into the places I need to be. These indicate areas I am in
charge of. These keys speed me along in
life at a blinding pace to get everything done, time and again.
Maybe we hold the keys to too much?
Wallet: I have a small organizer within the
larger purse. I often hope that compartmentalizing
my life will help me survive with greater ease, manage each small area with
less time consumption. Maybe this tactic just creates more places to clutter,
to distract, to manage, to improve, to review.
Credit cards and money and gift cards: Oh the Capital One commercial comes to mind: What’s
in your wallet? I usually don’t have
cash, but having things comes at a
price, and I have to pay it. Only when I
have a Starbucks gift card, do I allow myself to entertain the idea of chai tea
latte. With money and credit, I gain
access to things and places. The receipts evidence purchases that indicate what
I value.
Driver’s license: This is my allowance to go places,
to gain access to airports and train stations.
It is proof of identity and existence, and yet it is an opportunity for
identity theft.
Pictures: I carry these to remember my life’s
stories, continuing love and laughter created through memories.
Lipstick: This is the one item I don’t leave home
without. Admittedly, it is vanity in a
tube. Oh, how vain and shallow are the
words that come from these colored and decorated lips. May my words never be decorated
to disguise the truth. May my bold lips speak words of sustenance and life and
remain mute to guard grace.
Cell phones: This is a mini life preserver or
absorber within my life. It carries answers, directions, documents, contacts,
work, games, books, and coupons. It keeps track of my walking, my spending, my
photos, and my mail. Cozi organizes my
life and Facebook keeps me socially connected to everyone I want. At a finger’s
texting, I can communicate to resolve problems or find out where I am when I am
lost. Through speaking, I can negotiate directions, write a text, and get
answers to questions from an unknown person. I can call anywhere in the country for the
same price and speak to my best friend for four hours, sharing our lives
stories, closest emotions, worries, and laughs.
Make up: I often try to clean myself up a
little before leaving my house, putting on a touch of make-up. Cover stick covers the chicken pox scar under
my nose. Blush and a little lipstick
make the my color come alive, and mascara helps my eyes appear awake. I am encouraged to remember that a little cosmetic
enhances features and a lot of make-up covers who I am. This is
the real me and my real life, my real mistakes, my real goals, and my real hopes
that I present to God and others. Yet, when I try hard to create the look I
think others desire, all the while I am not PRESENT but PRESENTED, and this is
not a life that is real.
Measuring tape: When I asked ladies on Facebook
what they carried in their purse, my best friend’s resounding first response
was a measuring tape. After my teasing, she responded, “What doesn’t everyone?”
She carries a full size measuring tape for home repair or projects. She is a clever crafter, determined decorator, and fancies fixing-it, always trying to help
others solve problems. Who and what are we positioning ourselves to repair? What are we building for His Kingdom?
Pens: I love the smooth slide of a pen across paper.
WORDS! Those spoken, written, and
unsaid. Words I recorded in my heart
and in my journal, some to keep and others to post. It has been a hard few years of words spoken
to me, words that have seared into a bare heart.
Glasses/Sunglasses: There is nothing more frustrating
that not being able to see clearly or needing to squint through the day. I barely need glasses, but with fine print eyes
falter. Glasses help me see people and
circumstances more clearly, without blurred sight of judgment and condescension,
but with mercy and compassion.
Tissues: Life is messy, gently wipe to clean
it up.
Breath mints/gum/perfume: I like to present a first good
impression to the world. Some see it as
covering up the bad, while others see it as an invitation to gather closer. We have a choice really as what we will
project to others. What message do you
first present with your presence?
There are
many other random objects in my purse I think I MIGHT need to survive. It is a life survival package. Hey, I know a
woman who carries spare underwear in there.
But when we
are holding so tightly to these things, we don’t realize the need to be held
close.
Some days I
just want to travel light, to dump my purse, to clean out all the unnecessary
that weighs me down and keeps me bound to it. I need to minimize the contents
to only the essential. In my purse and in my life, I become conflicted and weary by the heavy journey. I can carry baggage
in my life for days, for years, for why?
Stop holding on so tightly to what’s around
and just be held by God.
What are
life’s bare essentials? And how do I
bare a heart and soul to what is essential?
MAYBE I SHOULD JUST STICK TO THE BASICS OF
MY PURSUIT IN MY PURSE.
We
throw guilt, blame, shame, games, living restless, wilderness wandering, hopeful
hangovers into our purses and grow weary from the heavy burdens.
We fear the contents of our bags, our lives, slipping from our
hands so we grasp tightly with hands that should be emptied to raise in praise.
Is it the pursuit of a dream we fear losing that causes us to
cling? Sometimes, we cling to the baggage
that is the pursuit of purpose, or expectations, or a place, or a person. Those
weight us down until we fall down and give up.
We hold hard to the pictures and
plans of a life we always thought we would be living.
Perhaps, our purses and lives need some clearing out. Let’s go back to the fearless, childish days
before we committed to carry all these “necessities,” before we held tight for fear
of losing a life of importance and valuables.
So here it i: just
throw in the purse…give it up…stop carrying it. Stop the shame, the guilt, the
doubt, the restlessness, the pain, the false valuing, the empty commitment… and
purs-ue God and His guarantee of abundance.
Pursuing God is a filling up with the pursuit of trust.
Lining our purse and aligning our lives so that we act like what we believe is true:
that God is alive and living in us and
wants us to be in His presence and know that He is enough right now even in our
less than perfect circumstances. This is the life of pursue=ing of God, not the
running and chasing and trying to be better and have more and be more, but the
letting Him pursue us, letting Him step
in and clear out all but what is necessary, and us allowing Him to do so. It is
the pursuit of trust in Him.
Then what
are the key contents being placed back into our purses, into our purse=ing God?
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