A few photos my son posted on Vine the other day gave me instant giggles. I looked twice to see it was really him. I love these fun images after they are distorted, especially when the person is morphed so that the image reminds me of someone else in real life or a cartoon character.
Sometimes the way we are perceived is not the way we intend. Maybe the image we project to others is not what they are receiving, and yet it might be exactly what they are perceiving.
One day a few students came into my classroom without saying anything to me. They began whispering to one another about my mood, discussing how they thought I was in a bad mood. (Imagine the dread of starting a class with a teacher already in a bad mood! Yipes.) I had been in deep concentration grading a four page writing. I asked them what made them jump to that conclusion so readily. They said I looked like I was mad which was exactly the opposite of what I had been feeling inside. (It was a great writing that I was reading!)
So, I created an experiment. I asked them what mood they thought I was in when they entered the room. We discussed what made them think that. I gave them some of my traditional faces and positions of concentration, and then I showed them angry so they could differentiate.
In turn, I asked them to look around the room to show their faces to their peers when they are happy, sad, bored, angry, concentrating, and listening. As our discussion grew, they were surprised that so many of their peers' faces seemed very similar in each of these moods. We decided that with little to go on except the facial expression that we better just ask someone how they were feeling. A couple kids learned to just ask, "Hey, Mrs. Roberson, how are you doing today?"
Sometimes, the way we are perceived is not the way we intend, and yet it is still exactly what others may be perceiving. I've had many contradictory remarks on my image, as I think we all have, from others. I have heard, "You are the hardest person to get to know" and "You are the most real person I know." Likewise, I have heard, "You are the best person I know" and "You are a liar." I have heard "You have made such a difference in my child's life" and "I don't think you really care."
Sometimes, the way we are perceived is not the way we intend, and yet it might be exactly what we intend. Now is where I could wax theoretical and throw out profundities about how I don't care about what others think; I am just going to be true to myself. If others don't get me, then it isn't my fault but theirs. It doesn't matter what I am doing because all that really matters is how others are perceiving me. I would have to say, "YES and NO!"
Like many people I imagine, I do care what others think of me! Not caring about that seems like saying to others, "Hey, don't bother getting to know me. Who I am doesn't matter. I have nothing to offer you." I didn't say I was going to change my image to be what someone wants me to be or change who I am to make others happy, but I do care that what I project invites people in rather than offends. I would rather be a comfortable couch than a wobbly chair. I guess I would rather be the French vanilla candle than the rotting trash.
Sometimes, the image we project to others is not what they are receiving, and yet with a deeper study and analysis, others' perceptions might turn out to be exactly what we are intending to say.
These pictures of Daniel reveal his personality accurately.(This is no stretch, really!) If you just met him, you might find him with very little to say. You might perceive him in a 1000 different ways. But having hung out with him for awhile now, I know this: he has always been my child that wants to enjoy a good laugh. He would choose a comedy a 100 times over a hardcore action movie. At 18, he still finds laughter in SpongeBob.
More deeply, I also perceive another of his commentaries from his distorted pictures because this I also admire about him: He hates when people judge other people. One of his best traits is that he learns about others and lets them be who they are.
First and foremost, I am pretty sure Daniel intended to have fun with these pictures because that is who he is! Even more, I love that the pictures he used to have fun were of HIM and not a distortion of others for someone to judge!
Comments