WHEN YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING WORTHWHILE IN LIFE AND MAYBE WHEN YOU WANT TO QUIT BECAUSE YOU'RE MISUNDERSTOOD
In the beginning was the word and the
word was with God and the word was God. The Word Gave life to everything. And
His life brought light to everyone. (John 1: 1-4)
You know how I am about words, and
this a looming scripture for me this year. So we will talk about words…your
words…my words…
One day
while subbing, Max Berry related his trauma of being caught inside days on end
with knowing what to do while he recovered from a concussion. He then asked me, “Mrs. Roberson what do you
do all day now that you aren’t teaching?”
See these
are the kind of words and questions we should be asking each other to really
understand one another. What do we do all day, with all our days, within our
lives? This kind of dialogue allows people into our lives to speak into our
days and offer advice and wisdom. And so, here I am to speak into yours. And I
will be asking you questions.
People will
ask you to tell about yourself. (This always happens in a job interview.) As
they try to get to know you, they are really wondering what you are all about:
what do you STAND for. Just by listening
and watching they will soon form ideas.
At the end
of a FB chat with Josh Beck a week ago he wrote, “ I hope you find what you are
looking for.” And the declarative statement begs the implication that I am
seeking, finding, looking, or hoping for something. And I am…always.
Aren’t we all in pursuit of
something? That’s why today’s talk is entitled:
WHEN
YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING WORTHWHILE IN LIFE AND MAYBE WHEN YOU WANT TO QUIT
BECAUSE YOU’RE MISUNDERSTOOD
Are you
seeking today too? Are you seeking answers to questions, disappointment, puzzling
circumstances, a crisis…? Do you feel misunderstand by parents and teachers and friends?
Are you hoping and wondering for the future?
What have you been finding? Are your eyes open? Some philosophers imply that if you are not pursuing or seeking then you are not growing or learning. Are your waters
stagnant?
And what
happens when we decide to do something big; something that will make a
difference in this life; pursue a dream; pursue a relationship; pursue a talent
or something we love; pursue even something big like changing who we are.
You better
believe that a life lived for Christ is a life that makes a difference. It is
a big pursuit. And today I am speaking really to you, the one carrying Christ’s
banner into the world, into this school, into your home, into your social arena.
Sometimes with such
lofty pursuit comes the inevitable conflict. Any time we try to do something
worthwhile in this life, at some point, we will be misunderstood.
Question: When you are
on this journey of pursuing significance or change: “What’s one of your greatest fears?” What’s one of your worst fears in what you do
with your days, with your moments, with right now, with your actions, with your
words?” So what’s your answer?
Here is my
answer: that someone will misunderstand my heart. And that has happened to me many times in
life as it has you, and it will continue to happen. That is the question that we will entertain,
ponder, seek answers to, and try to sort because it is the source of much
disappointment and lack of progress and true living for Christ.
Any time we try to do something significant
in this life, at some point, we will be misunderstood.
So how about
you? Do you get frustrated that people
misunderstand you? Perhaps you have that
cavalier response that we all think comes with maturity: “I don’t really care anymore what other people
think about me. I am going to say and do what I want.” Sometimes, we carry that attitude using Christ
as our defensive weapon.
But how should
we respond when someone misunderstands us? Let’s pose a multiple choice quiz:
A. Ax relationship by closing the doors of our hearts to these people and tell
ourselves we don’t really need to care what they think or need their type in
our life
B. Be mad
at God and stop pursuing His principles and His plans anymore because they
don’t seem to be working very well
C. Seek
trustworthy sources to talk over circumstances
D. Jesus…His dominates all other responses. That is true.
A. Our culture tells us this is the most
expedient, easiest, safest, and least painful.
For real, who needs these unthinking people, right? Mark them off your list, defame them, fire
them, suspend them, and trap them in their words. They probably aren't even Christians
anyway.
But given
the example of a God who endured painful beatings and stretched out His arms
wide on a cross in the ultimate heart opening, this doesn’t seem to be a viable
choice.
B. We now can play passive/aggressive with God,
as if we are on some even equality keel of understanding and can even claim to
know what His plans are. We assume that
because of our worthwhile stance for Him that the deal should be that He rids our
lives of these difficult people and situations.
The world makes deals. God makes promises. They begin and end with Him.
When we try to make a deal with God, this is the very moment we become blind and deaf: when we close our eyes and ears to God, claim the reins of self-control, and shut our spiritual eyes to God’s working.
The world makes deals. God makes promises. They begin and end with Him.
When we try to make a deal with God, this is the very moment we become blind and deaf: when we close our eyes and ears to God, claim the reins of self-control, and shut our spiritual eyes to God’s working.
D. Jesus…He
is always the answer, but what does Jesus as the answer really look like
in your life? Perhaps, it looks something like C.
C. This is the best answer to the question so how should I respond when someone
misunderstands me. Then here is the
next logical, important question. Who are your trustworthy sources? Who’s your
mentor today?
Where do you seek advice
and wisdom? From whom do you seek answers? What makes these people qualified?
Do you seek the places and people that give you the easy answers or call you to
walk the seemingly upside wisdom of Christ?
Let’s look
at C. Your first trustworthy source
should be God and His words. When you talk with God…do you deny your feelings
and say “Oh, it’s ok” or do you admit “Wow, this is shockingly painful. I am
not sure I can endure this. Give me your
words on this.” Then…do you listen for
correction for YOU, or are you too busy listing the crimes the other person
committed and how they should change?
Do you then also
look for a safe person in your life to talk this over with, someone who will
ask you to look honestly at yourself and make the needed adjustments and hold
you accountable? Perhaps, because you
want to be heard and understood, you just look for someone who will carry the
same pain and grudge with you.
For
instance, let’s take the example of two friends discussing something when one
of the friends expresses her opinion with blunt words and hurts the other. As
the person who speaks the blunt words would you think, “Well, at least I am
honest, which is more than they were. If
honesty hurts then they just need to deal with it.” That is a common exchange
arising in conversations of today’s school hallways.
Yet, you really are the
instigator of discord and misunderstanding in that dialogue.
You might be thinking you say these type of things in just meaningless
conversations; you were just being funny; you say these type of things all the
time and that they know how you are; what you said is nothing significant. And you might defend yourself with the idea
that you were not trying to make a difference in someone’s life or were in pursuit
of anything worthwhile.
ALL YOUR WORDS …. ALL YOUR WORDS…ARE IN PURSUIT OF HIS
WORTHWHILE CAUSE…PEOPLE HEAR THEM AND SEE THEM, AND THEY TOUCH OTHERS FOR GOOD
OR FOR BAD (YOUR STICKS AND YOUR STONES,
YOUR PEBBLES AND NIGHT STICKS DO HURT).
Words are the one thing we have had
from the beginning. They are as old as
time, sacred, don’t cheapen them or use them as boxing gloves.
Your words
are always hugely significant in creating or defending worthy or simple causes. Our words make a difference in ALL
circumstances.
The greatest
command calls us to love and friendship; we are to love God and love man (Matthew
22: 36-40). Your opinion may be honest
in your heart, but it was not solicited or even a response in the manner Christ
would ask you to respond.
If someone
told you that your words were cruel and harsh and wrong and not really honest
to the Word of God, would you be indignant or would you see the ramifications
of your words? Would seek amends or would you defend your words.
We need to
find these safe people in our lives to talk the misunderstandings over with…not
gossip…not sugar coating…admitting our words and actions and tone and
thoughts. Are you willing to let them
lead you to make the adjustments or do you just keep digging in your heels of bitterness?
Remember Christ’s defensive position all the
way to the cross was always this: “Love is the most powerful weapon and the
only weapon that heals instead of wounds.”
Anytime we
try to do something worthwhile in this life at some point we will be
misunderstood. We will have to go
through this quiz question. What answer
choice will you choose?
Then
depending on your relationship with the person, it is time to have a heart to
heart conversation. This can be hard and fear of being misunderstood again can
keep you from acting.
But as we live, we
continue to learn and understand that when we let the fear of being
misunderstood overcome us then we begin to sit down in life so no one will see
us, so we won’t be noticed, so we won’t appear wrong, so we won’t be hurt, so
we won’t have real and deep relationships; and then our living becomes small,
insignificant, and numb. Where is the abundant life we are called to?
Any time we
try to do something worthwhile in this life at some point we will be
misunderstood. If you understand how God really wants you to live
ABUNDANTLY, then you take the MIS
out of the word and then you have understand. But if you worry about being MIS
understood then all you are left with are all the MIS’s in life….and
…you will
miss or stall your plans God has designed for you in this life
…you will
miss opportunities to love and grow and learn
---you will
miss some pain, but also many adventures to learn and grow with Jesus and
others in your life
So understand
that when you are doing something
worthwhile for God you do need to STAND for HIS WORD, His truth, but HOW you do
that makes all the difference.
When you want to sit and quit or quietly
hide, keep standing, keep pursuing when you are stuck in status quo, keep seeking
trustworthy sources even when you don’t understand.
And why is
it that anytime we try to do something worthwhile in this life that at some
point we will be misunderstood? It is
because we will make mistakes. Courage
is action in word or deed. And we will make mistakes.
But we
cannot sit still. We are CALLED. We are drawn to doing worthwhile things for
God because we were made to glorify Him and to remain in relationship with Him…to
worship him…that is all of our purposes. It is wrapped in our spiritual DNA. No
matter what we do, even if it is the simple acts of eating and drinking, we are
called to glorify God (I Cor. 10:31)
Josh Beck caught me on FB chat the other day. His
words spoke about his thoughts on his life: “And my life is kind of lame I think. I ended
up in the medical field instead of special operations and I feel like the last
6 months have been a bit of a waste. But then again, I felt that way about my
whole life before then anyway. Right now I just want to be deployed as soon as
possible, I have to make a difference somewhere and I'm not gonna be able to do
that from behind a desk.”
Josh feels
like his life is lame right now. But like you, this pursuit of His dream is a
journey…a transformation…God moving with Him and through Him, a figuring out, a
dialogue, an exchange, a plan worked out together. He tells us we are becoming a new creation
(that is present progressive so it is continual).
When we are saying YES and doing what He
calls us to, others are going to see this new you and wonder and question and
doubt and misunderstand. Even we misunderstand
our own plans.
People this
pursuing of the life He is creating in us is not “lame.” It is WORTHWHILE and SIGNIFICANT.
Part of our
makeup is to classify and categorize. We
do that with the people we meet in our lives.
We put them in all shapes of boxes.
We label the boxes in a variety of ways.
When the contents of your box changes or enlarges or you make mistakes,
people don’t like to re-sort. They may
begin to try to tell you that you are “broken” or “not enough” or remind you of
what you used to be. They misunderstand
you, your missions, your words, your actions, your hopes.
But when you
lean hard and pursue what God has for you and have learned who He wants you to
be, then you don’t listen to those other voices that create fear and doubt
because God wants you to listen to His words. He is trying to do something new
in you.
Perfect love
casts out fear (not the awe fear that comes because we understand God’s
sovereignty and His nature). The reality
of life is that He takes us from new creation to new creation. We are always
changing and learning unless we are dead: physically or spiritually. Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he
is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold,
new things have come. 2Cor. 5: 17
So here are my words in response to Josh about
his current pursuit:
“Youth, maybe humans in general, are wired to
want to work and make a difference. But sometimes the dessert places are trying
to slow us down to life and watch and look and listen for His words that teach
us the patience, true drive, perseverance, and words we are going to need in
the next moments God puts before us. We are also driven to look for meaning,
often overlooking the little things we do where we can have an impact with
individuals and within ourselves. I think all of our life prepares us in some
way, if we allow it, for the next moments God places us in our life.”
Along the way of life,
in this pursuit of a worthwhile God, we often find that at some point people
misunderstand us…misunderstand our mission…misunderstand our
calling…misunderstand our intentions…misunderstand our plans…misunderstand our
actions…misunderstand our waiting…misunderstand our Yes and even our
No…misunderstand our quiet…misunderstand our words.
Along the
way someone may try to fire you…change you…trap you…
Let’s look,
for instance at the Duck Dynasty controversy. For Phil Robertson, standing on
the conviction of God’s Word was a worthwhile stance …HEAR ME NOW…BUT if we
speak without compassion, the content of our words will not be heard and
neither will His. Clearly, we should
stand behind God’s Word, but if we say them in a mean way, then people will
misunderstand our meaning.
Mean what you say and
say what you mean, but if compassion isn’t meant to be heard, then they will
not want to hear you. Follow Judas's exchange with Christ. Words can be decisive weapons of exchange or the delicious delights of a gift.
And YES…he
was misunderstood. And yes…he has the constitutional right to express his
faith. And yes, there was more to His words…And yes what was printed was
slanted and lacked compassion…And yes his intention of never inciting or
encouraging hate exploded and left unintended shrapnel and collateral damage.
But
here is the lesson you were to hear and see from this media frenzy: along the
way in life God will allow you to see that YOU too will get the words wrong. That is a
100% guarantee because that is the only way we learn to live grace. The only
infallible words are those Words of God which is probably why Jesus quoted them
so often in his ministry as He lived them in His life.
Likewise, in your
pursuit of righteousness and significant living, worthwhile living, you may be
gonged off the stage, crashing into someone like clashing cymbals, and
conflicted by your efforts. So remember, your responses can be like knives and
cut clear through the meat of a person; or they can drip syrupy like cinnamon
bun frosting; or they can be the butter on the bread of life for a person’s
soul.
And just like me and just like Duck Dynasty’s
Phil Robertson and just like Governor Cuomo, you will get your words wrong, too,
and anyone trying to do something worthwhile.
But GRACE can find you and you can find grace. When disaster strikes and
words of mass destruction implode, don’t fire people, don’t run away from
people, and don’t shun people to Exile Island.
Listen to their words. Then find
your words in His Words. Then create conversation with His words. Listening
causes people to lean in and hear Him and not YOU because He will give us His
words, and His words are never meant to
harm, but bring life.
So let me
ask…what worthwhile things are you pursuing?
At some point in this pursuit, you will be misunderstood, and you may even want to quit.
But here’s
the reason the pursuit is necessary: If we try to live in a way that everyone
understands us all the time, we will end up not STANDING for anything, and our lives and words will never be seen or heard.
1 Cor.
16:13 Stand firm in the faith; be
courageous; be strong …he knew we would get things wrong, make mistakes, and
others would pursue us with disfavor.
We have rights to speak under Christ, but we also have responsibilities to represent Him well.
Words of courage and compassion are what
we should give to one another in our worthwhile pursuits. Josh encouraged me, “I can write now and not
be limited in expressing my ideas. That's the best gift to a student.” Perhaps,
I fostered this worthwhile pursuit in him.
So here are my summarizing questions of you today:
- · Will you choose to stand with courage and pursue a life worthy of His calling on yours?
- · Will you choose to grow your faith during the difficult days of fear and doubt and misunderstanding?
- · Will you seek trustworthy sources for answers in order to learn and grow through misunderstandings?
- · Will you try to use your words so that you are not misunderstood?
- · Will you listen to the words you find in His Word to avoid misunderstandings?
- · And when they don’t seem to make sense or even an impact on your day to day life, will you still pursue Him during these misunderstandings?
So stay
accountable to trustworthy WORDS. Don't quit when things get rough; keep
pursuing God’s words that uphold the conviction of compassion you are being
called to, but also be ever changing, ever moving, ever pursuing, ever seeking,
ever learning, ever listening, ever speaking.
And while
you stand to live an abundantly worthy life that makes a difference, you can STAND through the
trials of being misunderstood when you STAND in the truth of His Word.
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