Every Christmas, as I place Mary within the nativity scene, this deep painful emotion overwhelms anew of the life Mary must have endured. The mother of Jesus stands gazing at Jesus, treasuring and pondering who she has birthed and what He will be to this world. Should she stand to the left or to the right of baby Jesus? Should she be kneeling nearby or standing? I don't want to make some arbitrary placement, I want to situate Mary in the right place.
I wonder why Mary isn't holding Jesus in her arms in all these scenes? I always proudly held my children tightly in my arms for portraits which I knew would be posted for eternity. Why this distance created in the manger scenes between Mary and her newborn babe? Why this formality? It always makes me feel the gap we have in understanding this woman and makes me ache every Christmas for this young teen that God blessed with His physical presence.
And so I want to place Mary accurately in the scene as Jesus' earthly mother. I dare to try to understand her thoughts, but they are so limited by my here and now, my culture, my interpretation, my experiences, and my lack of scriptural understanding. I lean hard on my feelings as a mother to understand Mary. I have tried to find comparisons to understand this God chosen young woman.
And this year, God has poured over me to reveal Mary's character when He showed her response to all that He was doing: "But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart" (Luke 2:19). I was so thankful to see that I shared something in common with this revered woman, Mary the mother of Jesus. She too was a ponderer, a thinker, a quiet and careful reflector, a ruminator, a thought flipper, a look at this from all angles, a puzzler, a person of weighted thought, a wonder what this means questioner, a let's give this a second and third and fourth consideration person (secretly I wish she were a writer so I could read her thoughts on paper).
God revealed His mercy for my constant ponderings about life in showing me that Mary and I had something in common-- we are ponderers, wonderers. My awesome pondering about the Christmas story this season is that He used a very typical girl to birth His "Wonderful" new life, Emmanuel. And Jewish women's hospitality still reverently ushered in a King from the line of David among the most common of situations. Jesus was not born into sad deprivation that the western world likes to paint, but rather He was born into a life of humble beginnings, a life of humility. This was Christ's all access pass! From the beginning, he made a way for the weak and the meek to walk the path of reverence, a path that ends with you and me being able to kneel before Him at His throne, too.
God literally TOOK her ordinary life and at the same time GAVE her extraordinary life. What plans she had arranged for her life suddenly were transfixed to God's plans. Her life was altered magnanimously. I know my world became fuzzy even at the dream of our first child. Our plans imminently shifted upon expecting our first child. Then when our first babe was born, my heart leaped within as if in need to exchange my life for his, for I would have given anything that his life would be all that I had hoped for him.
So the question is always why was this young teen, Mary, ordained as the mother of Jesus? Scholars have weighed in on this so my ponderings will be nothing but that: ponderings of a common sojourner. I see Mary as unassuming. Her response was not one of regal pride and owed fancy upon this knowledge of carrying a soon coming King. The Angel Gabriel reveals Mary's fear when he assured her that she shouldn't be afraid. Isn't it interesting that God choose to speak to the common girl, not to her priest. Isn't it interesting that he revealed himself to common shepherds in the dark of night. When God breathed to birth a dream that was seemingly thousands of years old within her, He knew that Mary's response, even with her very vague comprehension of scriptures' prophecy, would be one of fearful acceptance because He had given her assurance.
Great credence is given to the idea that Mary said "YES." Did she have the option of NO? or a THANKS BUT NO THANKS? God had already had His Way with her. God chose Mary because He knew her heart could bear the weight of the significance of bearing the life of His child. And her quiet heart strength is the emotion that overwhelms me.
God knew His plans could be accomplished through one such as Mary who pondered and treasured thoughts in her heart. It isn't that Mary didn't probably question God, for she certainly didn't fully understand. I frequently ask God questions about this life. I don't always get answers. Mary's questions and ponderings didn't inhibit God's work. In her doubt, she didn't cry "impossible" but rather pondered, "I don't know me, but I know about YOU." He knew her strength, that she would be willing to take the journey and let it be revealed to her in HIS time. He knew she would begin with the limited knowledge of the scriptures. He didn't need to wait to begin His work in her for a YES because he knew her character. She was a person who treasured, and held on, and would abide, and she would need to do this despite the upcoming ugly days.
This twenty-first century woman would scream inside: "Help! I cannot do this. People will judge me. My life will be ruined." Mary's ponderings may have included these rants, but her will to trust was stronger than her dare to doubt, for Mary was "highly favored." In other words, she was given much grace.
He favored her because her heart and mind continuously cradled the plan of God as she pondered His purposes and plan. She could have declared the doom of "IF," but instead she asked God "how will this be?" HOW will he accomplish this not IF? With limited answers and understanding and perhaps learning to live with even fewer expectations, Mary was blessed to be able to ponder with the assurance that God would work His best plan in her life despite the pain of watching the plan unfold.
And just like mothers today, Mary was never guaranteed at the start to know what her earthly child's life would look like. She understood its promise but probably not its execution. Mary certainly would have known and perhaps clung to the hopeful promises that the scriptures from Isaiah 9: 1-7 foretold. Those of "no more distress" and "enlarging the nation and increasing their joy" and "every warrior's boot...and garment" would be no longer needed and "of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end" which all would be accomplished by the "zeal of the Lord Almighty."
And we are all common girls that are "highly favored" when God chooses to accomplish His work within us. When we ponder how God's will is graciously being revealed, do we push hard to persist in expecting His miraculous work in cold dark stables? Mary who pondered must have had to lean hard on God's word not to doubt His decisions as she followed Jesus' 33 years.
In our ponderings, we wrestle with the question of how our lives are unfolding. Is my life really meant to be this difficult? What can I possibly be doing wrong? How often do we inaccurately resolve that pain and suffering are the antithesis of God's presence and work in our lives? Mary followed God as He took Jesus from birth, through blessings, and then into blood. Perhaps, we too, like many of old, have confused the cross for the crown.
And this is the pondering life and character of Mary that God shows births the King of Kings, a life that seeks answers long after they are short and bleeds sacrifice instead of demanding understanding and accepts the giving and the taking from God and positions herself to patiently ponder through the pain.
This pondering Mary is treasured as the one God chose to birth our Savior because she worshiped God while she held Jesus long in the womb through perilous terrain of land and mind and still remained with God's plan despite the seeming unraveling of the world's acceptance, despite the world's sin being laid bare and heavy on His back. She carried, birthed, and followed him all the way to the cross, pondering as she watched him carry the weight of the world to birth a new hope for each of us. She cried, she knelt, and she knew only as God allowed her to understand.
And this is the tender Mary that I ponder and honor by kneeling her at the feet of Jesus, her heart's treasure.
I wonder why Mary isn't holding Jesus in her arms in all these scenes? I always proudly held my children tightly in my arms for portraits which I knew would be posted for eternity. Why this distance created in the manger scenes between Mary and her newborn babe? Why this formality? It always makes me feel the gap we have in understanding this woman and makes me ache every Christmas for this young teen that God blessed with His physical presence.
And so I want to place Mary accurately in the scene as Jesus' earthly mother. I dare to try to understand her thoughts, but they are so limited by my here and now, my culture, my interpretation, my experiences, and my lack of scriptural understanding. I lean hard on my feelings as a mother to understand Mary. I have tried to find comparisons to understand this God chosen young woman.
And this year, God has poured over me to reveal Mary's character when He showed her response to all that He was doing: "But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart" (Luke 2:19). I was so thankful to see that I shared something in common with this revered woman, Mary the mother of Jesus. She too was a ponderer, a thinker, a quiet and careful reflector, a ruminator, a thought flipper, a look at this from all angles, a puzzler, a person of weighted thought, a wonder what this means questioner, a let's give this a second and third and fourth consideration person (secretly I wish she were a writer so I could read her thoughts on paper).
God revealed His mercy for my constant ponderings about life in showing me that Mary and I had something in common-- we are ponderers, wonderers. My awesome pondering about the Christmas story this season is that He used a very typical girl to birth His "Wonderful" new life, Emmanuel. And Jewish women's hospitality still reverently ushered in a King from the line of David among the most common of situations. Jesus was not born into sad deprivation that the western world likes to paint, but rather He was born into a life of humble beginnings, a life of humility. This was Christ's all access pass! From the beginning, he made a way for the weak and the meek to walk the path of reverence, a path that ends with you and me being able to kneel before Him at His throne, too.
God literally TOOK her ordinary life and at the same time GAVE her extraordinary life. What plans she had arranged for her life suddenly were transfixed to God's plans. Her life was altered magnanimously. I know my world became fuzzy even at the dream of our first child. Our plans imminently shifted upon expecting our first child. Then when our first babe was born, my heart leaped within as if in need to exchange my life for his, for I would have given anything that his life would be all that I had hoped for him.
So the question is always why was this young teen, Mary, ordained as the mother of Jesus? Scholars have weighed in on this so my ponderings will be nothing but that: ponderings of a common sojourner. I see Mary as unassuming. Her response was not one of regal pride and owed fancy upon this knowledge of carrying a soon coming King. The Angel Gabriel reveals Mary's fear when he assured her that she shouldn't be afraid. Isn't it interesting that God choose to speak to the common girl, not to her priest. Isn't it interesting that he revealed himself to common shepherds in the dark of night. When God breathed to birth a dream that was seemingly thousands of years old within her, He knew that Mary's response, even with her very vague comprehension of scriptures' prophecy, would be one of fearful acceptance because He had given her assurance.
Great credence is given to the idea that Mary said "YES." Did she have the option of NO? or a THANKS BUT NO THANKS? God had already had His Way with her. God chose Mary because He knew her heart could bear the weight of the significance of bearing the life of His child. And her quiet heart strength is the emotion that overwhelms me.
God knew His plans could be accomplished through one such as Mary who pondered and treasured thoughts in her heart. It isn't that Mary didn't probably question God, for she certainly didn't fully understand. I frequently ask God questions about this life. I don't always get answers. Mary's questions and ponderings didn't inhibit God's work. In her doubt, she didn't cry "impossible" but rather pondered, "I don't know me, but I know about YOU." He knew her strength, that she would be willing to take the journey and let it be revealed to her in HIS time. He knew she would begin with the limited knowledge of the scriptures. He didn't need to wait to begin His work in her for a YES because he knew her character. She was a person who treasured, and held on, and would abide, and she would need to do this despite the upcoming ugly days.
This twenty-first century woman would scream inside: "Help! I cannot do this. People will judge me. My life will be ruined." Mary's ponderings may have included these rants, but her will to trust was stronger than her dare to doubt, for Mary was "highly favored." In other words, she was given much grace.
He favored her because her heart and mind continuously cradled the plan of God as she pondered His purposes and plan. She could have declared the doom of "IF," but instead she asked God "how will this be?" HOW will he accomplish this not IF? With limited answers and understanding and perhaps learning to live with even fewer expectations, Mary was blessed to be able to ponder with the assurance that God would work His best plan in her life despite the pain of watching the plan unfold.
And just like mothers today, Mary was never guaranteed at the start to know what her earthly child's life would look like. She understood its promise but probably not its execution. Mary certainly would have known and perhaps clung to the hopeful promises that the scriptures from Isaiah 9: 1-7 foretold. Those of "no more distress" and "enlarging the nation and increasing their joy" and "every warrior's boot...and garment" would be no longer needed and "of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end" which all would be accomplished by the "zeal of the Lord Almighty."
In our ponderings, we wrestle with the question of how our lives are unfolding. Is my life really meant to be this difficult? What can I possibly be doing wrong? How often do we inaccurately resolve that pain and suffering are the antithesis of God's presence and work in our lives? Mary followed God as He took Jesus from birth, through blessings, and then into blood. Perhaps, we too, like many of old, have confused the cross for the crown.
And this is the pondering life and character of Mary that God shows births the King of Kings, a life that seeks answers long after they are short and bleeds sacrifice instead of demanding understanding and accepts the giving and the taking from God and positions herself to patiently ponder through the pain.
This pondering Mary is treasured as the one God chose to birth our Savior because she worshiped God while she held Jesus long in the womb through perilous terrain of land and mind and still remained with God's plan despite the seeming unraveling of the world's acceptance, despite the world's sin being laid bare and heavy on His back. She carried, birthed, and followed him all the way to the cross, pondering as she watched him carry the weight of the world to birth a new hope for each of us. She cried, she knelt, and she knew only as God allowed her to understand.
And this is the tender Mary that I ponder and honor by kneeling her at the feet of Jesus, her heart's treasure.
Comments
I love this, my pondering friend!